Sunday, April 21, 2013

Anxiety & production

I am ready for school to end, both as a teacher, and a student. These seem to be my 2 identities these days. I forget that I am also a wife, friend and person. Exhaustion has taken over, and anxiety is kicking in. Anxiousness is something I have always been plagued with, and management has always bee a struggle. The only thing that seems to alleviate it is getting things done, and off my plate. But time never fails to uncover more and more things when I try to be productive. Narrowing those things down is where the anxiety come in. "There are 24 usable hours in each day!" exclaimed Liz Tyler's character in Empire Records. True. But that character was also a closet speed freak. Not exactly a path I want to tumble down.

As I reflect on the last month, I have improved some of my habits. It is a slow process that only I notice, but there are coming along. For instance, I deleted some shows from my DVR, and only have a couple left that I watch. This was a complete shock to my husband who when I mentioned eliminating cable he said to me "I just find it hard to believe that you, of all people, are going to watch less television. Over the years you have only increased how much you watch." Less TV time meant more time for homework. And I only had to spend an hour today doing my assignment for Tuesday, which opened up time to work on my lesson plans, and a sewing project (for, gasp, leisure). Amazing. Apparently you can teach an old dog new tricks. However, with my extra time, I am noticing a lot of cleaning up that has to happen, both physically, and mentally, which is causing some anxiety.

This made me wonder how I can quantitate my goals in order to track my progress. Will this make me crazy? Maybe. But in order to feel successful, I need a way to assess my progress. And everything is better done in 2s. So I am going to alter my goals a little in anticipation of the upcoming summer. And everything will be done in 2s. I know these don't seem like a lot to some people. But my full time job, and 2 classes a week drain my brain and physical strength most days. I am hoping to push myself a little, for my own mental stability. With out further ado, this Type A personality will bring yet another list to you.

  1. Read 2 books a month. I don't care what kind of book they are. In the past month I read 6 (going on 8 (books, and it was really nice to reconnect with the motivation and words of another world. In the 6 months prior, I maybe read 3. Disgraceful.  And I count audio books in this category. That being said, this should be easy. If I read 1 book for fun, a business/entrepreneur book, a textbook, a cookbook, and an audio book a month, I will well reach my coal. And I think all of those are possible. 
  2. Cook dinner for Jon and myself 2 times a week. It is easy to let him do all of the cooking, or fend for ourselves. But that isn't a fair burden on Jon. He loves to cook, and it is really his only hobby. I wouldn't want to deprive him. But I do want to take some of the burden off. This is tough when I am taking night classes, but I need to make more of an effort, and we both know that.
  3. Complete 2 projects a month (soon to be per week, come summer). yes, projects. I have 43 boards, and over 2,00 pins on Pinterest. Most of these are projects that I want to try. That is ridiculous. If I spent as much time making, as I spend pinning, I would get a lot accomplished. Time to do it. I can't wait to start creating. I need that for my own mental sanity. I haven't created for fun in months. 
  4. Reconnect with a minimum of 2 friends each month. These friends being friends that don't live in AZ. Seems silly, but I affectionately adore some of my Facebook friends, and don't often get a chance to touch base with them. I need to at least send them a note and say hi, and let them know that I think of them often and that have influenced me one way or another. I met with one of my favorite high school friends in February when I was in San Diego, and it was awesome for both of us.  My family and local friends get to hear that all the time. But those far away don't. There needs to be more love in this world, and I want to start spreading it. 
  5. Blog twice a week. 
  6. Cardio 2 days, yoga 2 days, and weights 2 days at the gym. In no particular order. 2 days a week seems to be no problem. But is should be more than that. 
It is Sunday, and the month will be over in 9 days. I have already completed goal 1 for the month. Let's see how the rest go......... To be continued. 

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